Things I’m Pissed About – Mama Bear Edition

We are raising two daughters. One of the hardest things about racism in America is watching the impact on my kids. So let’s start there.

I’m pissed about how racism impacts my kids.

I’m pissed that BIPOC parents have to talk to their kids about about Driving While Black. Sixteen is just around the corner for one of our kids. She is so careful when she drives. She is a rule follower. Will she be safe?

I’m pissed that the other day my daughter wondered if it is okay for her to put her hood up if she is wearing a sweatshirt. “What if I’m cold mom? Can I wear my hood or will they think I’m dangerous?”

I’m pissed that black girls are hyper-sexualized in our culture and around the world. I’m currently in a book group that is reading Jezebel Unhinged by Tamura Lomax. In chapter one, she teaches us about white men’s use of race and “science” as “proof of black female otherness.” White men’s obsession with the black female goes back hundreds of years. A Black woman known as Saartjie Baartman was dissected the put on display, from the early 1800’s until 2002, and written about in ways that justified the poor behavior of the white man towards black women. Dudes – stop blaming us for your lack of self control. That is your issue – not ours.

I’m pissed that the beauty standard for women is white. Talk to almost any black women and we will talk about wishing our hair was straight like the white girls and having to learn to love our kinky and curly hair.

I’m pissed that my smart girls are seen as exceptional and not the norm, that they are seen as exotic, and that they will still have to work twice as hard as their peers to get ahead.

I’m pissed about a lot of the struggles that my girls will have to face. I’m grateful that we can talk openly and honestly about the roadblocks that are out there. It is good that more white people understand that issues are happening everyone day to BIPOC. Yet, I’m not convinced that white people are willing give up power and truly have a change of heart, so that black kids can drive safely and put their hoods up when they are cold without fear.

What are you pissed about?

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